While he was yet speaking to the multitudes, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, seeking to speak to him.
And one said unto him, “Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, seeking to speak to thee.”
But he answered and said unto him that told him, “Who is my mother? And who are my brethren?”
And he stretched forth his hand towards his disciples, and said, “Behold, my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father who is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother” (Matthew 12:46-50).

One can hardly overstate the importance of family, both in the ancient and modern worlds. Family connections provided the only real “safety net” of the day; one’s standing in one’s family often defined one’s career and marriage prospects, let alone religion and ideology. One of the worst fates a person could experience was to be bereft of family, excluded from family, or to be a part of a family whose name was dishonorable in the community.

One’s family tends to share in commonalities: a common bloodline, and therefore common characteristics. We have latent expectations that children turn out a lot like parents; athleticism, intelligence, skills, and temperaments tend to be inherited characteristics. If one person in a family gains prominence, it tends to be easier for other family members to also gain prominence as well.

It should come as no surprise, therefore, that family would have a role in Jesus’ life and teachings. During His life, those who knew Him from His youth had challenges accepting His authority since it seemed so inconsistent with His family’s social place (cf. Matthew 13:54-58). A lot of people put some emphasis on Jesus’ earthly family: Mary His mother is prominent in the eyes of some, and there are no lack of conspiracy theories about Jesus possibly having a wife and family and how His descendants would become kings. There is no legitimacy to any such tale, but it goes to show just how much we associate people with their families; it is easy to assume that whatever made Jesus great would be passed on to other family members as well.

At one point during His ministry, Jesus’ mother and (half-)siblings wished to speak with Him (Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3:31-35, Luke 8:19-21). Concerning what specifically we are never told; considering Mark 3:21 and John 7:5, it probably was not for good. Nevertheless, Jesus is in the middle of teaching the people, and He takes the opportunity to teach a most profound lesson. He declares that those who are really His brother, sister, and mother are not those who are somewhat biologically related to Him, but those who “do the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

Let us first make it clear what Jesus is not saying. He is not attempting to justify people dishonoring their biological parents; He affirms the commandment to honor one’s father and mother (Matthew 19:19), and puts it into practice by making sure that His mother is provided for after His death (John 19:25-27). We should not assume that He intends any disrespect to His earthly family whatsoever with His declaration, and Jesus is certainly not trying to overthrow the institution of the family.

So why does Jesus make such a strong declaration? He does so in part because of the tendency we noticed above: it would be easy for the people to look to Jesus’ earthly family to provide future leadership and to exalt Jesus’ earthly family in inappropriate ways; this is also seen in Luke 11:27-28. The honor and praise is well-meaning but dangerously wrong-headed.

And its wrong-headedness makes up the bulk of the reason why Jesus says what He does. Families are known for their strong connections and the emphasis on what they share in common; Jesus has come to reveal first to the Jews and then to the Gentiles as well that they should honor their spiritual connection with God as primary in their lives, and thus the common relationship they share as children of their Heavenly Father should be preeminent, far more valuable than any earthly connection (cf. Matthew 6:33). Jesus is not trying to say that anyone can become His spiritual “mother”; He is using the terms on the basis of connecting the physical to the spiritual. Yet all can become spiritual brothers and sisters of Jesus through the reconciliation with the Father made possible through His blood (Romans 5:6-11, 8:1-17). Had His physical brothers and sisters persisted in unbelief, their genetic relationship to Jesus would not have somehow saved them; while James and Jude will take on prominent roles in the early church, it is not because they are Jesus’ brothers, but Jesus’ servants (James 1:1, Jude 1:1). Nepotism may get you somewhere on earth, but physical nepotism will not get anyone anywhere in heaven!

Jesus’ teaching is powerful: yes, there is great value in the physical family, and those commitments should be honored (cf. 1 Timothy 5:1-16), but the earthly family should never be made an idol. Instead, as with all good things that come from God, we should perceive how the physical is a shadow of the real and spiritual: participation in the family of God is of the greatest importance, and that which we share in common in Jesus can overcome anything else that could divide us. No one need be excluded from Jesus’ family; there is not one who cannot become an adopted son/daughter of God and thus brother/sister of Jesus. During His earthly life Jesus did honor His physical family but took every opportunity to more greatly honor His spiritual family, bought by His blood. Let us join together as Jesus’ family and honor our Lord!

Ethan R. Longhenry

“Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be delivered unto the chief priests and scribes; and they shall condemn him to death, and shall deliver him unto the Gentiles to mock, and to scourge, and to crucify: and the third day he shall be raised up” (Matthew 20:18-19).

The time is drawing near. The final journey of Jesus’ earthly ministry has begun.

It would have been fascinating to stand there on that early spring day in 30 CE to see how Jesus made this declaration in Matthew 20:18-19. Where did He pause? What did the disciples think and say among themselves? We could imagine many different scenarios.

The first part of the statement brimmed with promise. Jesus and the Twelve were going up to Jerusalem. It was not the first time they did so, of course, but this time was going to be different. The disciples were no fools; they knew that Jerusalem was the center of Jewish life and that the Messiah’s Kingdom must begin from Jerusalem. All of their hopes and dreams regarding their work in Jesus’ Kingdom were pinned on Jesus’ accession to His throne in Jerusalem. As before, so again– their hopes were focused on an earthly kingdom, made evident by the request of the family of Zebedee soon after (Matthew 20:20-28).

And this is precisely why Jesus does not end His statement with the fact that they are going to Jerusalem– He also describes what is going to happen there.

This is not the first time He has done this; in fact, this is the third warning in Matthew’s telling of the Gospel regarding His imminent suffering, death, and resurrection (cf. Matthew 16:21-23, 17:22-23). There is likely some symbolism in the fact that there are these three warnings between the confession of Jesus as the Messiah and His entry in Jerusalem; there is also a heightening effect. At first the disciples are told that He would suffer, killed, and be raised (Matthew 16:21); again that He would be delivered into the hands of men, killed, and be raised (Matthew 17:22-23); now we are finally introduced to the graphic scene: Jesus will be handed over to the Jewish authorities, who will condemn Him, and will in turn hand Him over to the Gentiles, at whose hands He will be mocked, flogged, and crucified, and then be raised on the third day (Matthew 20:18-19).

Why would Jesus make such a progressive revelation? Some might say that it was progressively revealed to Jesus Himself. Such is possible, but Jesus is God and His part of the plan was understood from eternity (Ephesians 3:11). We must allow for the possibility that the revelation was not progressive at all, and He explained all of this to His disciples in Caesarea Philippi from the outset. Whether He did or not, Matthew, in his telling of the story, is providing progressive revelation of what is going to take place, so the question remains. Why does the description get more detailed and graphic over time?

It is likely that Matthew does so, in part, for our benefit, to remind us that this was the plan all along. The resurrection and promise of Christ’s return was not “plan B” after “plan A” failed and Jesus was crucified. No; Jesus’ life, suffering, death, and resurrection have always been part of the plan. Jesus knew it in advance and warned His disciples in advance; it was sufficiently part of His teaching or understood beyond His disciples so that the chief priests and Pharisees knew that He had predicted His resurrection on the third day after His death (Matthew 27:62-66). As hard as it often is to wrap our heads around how Jesus fulfilled God’s plan for our redemption, it was no accident or contingency plan. Everything that happened to Jesus was predicted.

Yet there are also many good contextual reasons– mostly to throw cold water on the disciples’ expectations. Jesus is fulfilling God’s purposes for Him; He is the Messiah, and He will sit upon the throne and rule; yet none of it is happening according to expectation. In fact, the specific description Jesus uses goes a long way to show the contrast between expectation and reality. That contrast is instructive for us.

Notice how Jesus describes Himself in Matthew 20:18-19: the Son of Man. All of these terrible things– condemnation at the hands of the Jewish authorities, mocking, flogging, and death at the hands of the Gentiles– will happen to the Son of man.

The description of “Son of man” has its main force in demonstrating the humanity of the Christ– yes, He is the Son of God, God the Son, but He is also flesh, a human being (John 1:1, 14, Philippians 2:5-11, Colossians 2:9, Hebrews 1:3). That was the force of “son of man” as a description in the Old Testament– it was just another way of calling someone a human.

Nevertheless, there is one passage that provides a Messianic flavor to the title of “Son of Man”– Daniel 7:13. Daniel sees that one “like a son of man” would stand before the Ancient of Days and receive dominion, glory, and a kingdom, and everyone would serve him, and his kingdom would remain forever (Daniel 7:13-14). It is in this sense that Jesus is the “Son of Man” in ways that no other human being could be. It is in this Messianic sense that the disciples, no doubt, envision Jesus as the Son of Man.

As the Son of Man, Jesus will receive this honor, glory, and dominion when He stands before the Ancient of Days. He will receive that Kingdom that will never end, and all people will be subject to Him. But not before He is humiliated and suffers greatly.

When we combine our understanding of the Son of Man from Daniel 7:13-14 with Jesus’ use of the term in Matthew 20:18-19, we should be even more greatly impacted by Jesus’ great suffering. The Son of Man who will receive all power will be first condemned by the existing earthly authority. The Son of Man who will rule over every nation will first be mocked and flogged by the nations. The Son of Man who will receive glory and honor will first be humiliated and crucified.

These events are not optional: they are required to reach the end goal (Philippians 2:5-11). And this is why Jesus says that believers must serve, since the “Son of Man” did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28). There can be no glory, honor, and dominion without first experiencing suffering, degradation, rejection, and humiliation.

If anyone ever deserved the easy road, it would have been Jesus of Nazareth. Yet, in order to accomplish God’s purpose for mankind, He first had to suffer and to be humiliated. In order to obtain the highest glory and honor, He first had to experience the greatest depths of pain and degradation. Before He could rule over all men He had to be condemned by His own people and mocked mercilessly by the heathen Gentiles. We do well to learn the lesson, even if it means that we must swallow hard. The way to glory is paved with suffering, humiliation, and degradation. We very likely will be rejected by our own people and mocked by foreigners. Yet, as Paul says, all of these sufferings cannot compare with the glory waiting for us in the resurrection (Romans 8:17-18). Let us learn from the treatment of the Son of Man, and be willing to suffer and to be humiliated in order to obtain eternal glory and honor!

Ethan R. Longhenry

Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee (Exodus 20:12).

The fifth commandment brings about a shift in focus. Whereas the first four commandments involved an Israelite’s relationship with his God, the last six involve his relationship with his fellow man. One could say that the first four commandments are the means by which the Israelites would “love the Lord [their] God with all [their] heart, and with all [their] soul, and with all [their] mind” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5, Matthew 22:37), and the last six commandments are the means by which they would “love [their] neighbor[s] as [themselves]” (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39).

Therefore, as we turn from man’s relationship with his God toward his relationship with his fellow man, what would we emphasize? What would be the first command that we would establish for how people ought to work with one another? In the Ten Commandments, the first command dictating the relationship of man with his fellow man is to honor his father and his mother (Exodus 20:12).

This might seem strange to us– we would more likely than not emphasize the later commandments to not murder, to not commit adultery, to not bear false witness, and to not covet your neighbor’s goods over the need to honor father and mother. Why, then, is the command to honor father and mother at the head of the list?

We can discern part of the reason in the “promise” noted by Paul as he provides the same command to the Ephesians (Ephesians 6:2-3): “that thy days may be long in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). How is it that one’s days are longer if they honor their parents?

In a few circumstances there is a very good reason for it: the person who curses his parents or strikes his parents is to be put to death (Exodus 21:15, 17). If parents have a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey, they are to bring him before the elders, and if the charge is true, the son is to be stoned with stones (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). It is hard to “live long” in a land when you have been executed for rebellion against your parents!

Yet this is not really what God is envisioning when He makes this promise. While it is entirely possible that God provides a supernatural blessing or benefit on children who honor their parents, we can also understand this promise in completely natural ways. A child who listens to his or her parents has some level of respect for them as authorities. When the child becomes an adult, he or she is more likely to respect other authorities, including God and the government, and are more likely to be law-abiding citizens. If, on the other hand, a child does not honor his parents, it most often is due to stubbornness and rebelliousness. As that child grows up and becomes an adult, that stubbornness and rebelliousness continues against authorities. They are more likely to engage in illegal behaviors and have no respect for divine or human authority. Such people are more likely to die on account of their bad habits or at the hand of the law or men. Therefore, those who honor father and mother will have it go better for them and they will have a better opportunity to live long in the land God gave them. There are other factors in play that might hinder that– war, famine, pestilence, accidents, and the like– and there are also times when people live long lives despite being rebellious and stubborn. Nevertheless, the general premise holds weight, even to this day.

Hopefully we can better understand why God places the command to honor father and mother in the forefront of man’s relationship with other people. All of us first learn about life and how we should live from the home. Sadly there are many times when the home is not a good place in which to learn about life– some parents neglect and/or abuse their children, and this is not at all God’s intentions for the conduct of parents (Ephesians 6:4). Thankfully, a good part of the time, parents want the best for their children– to raise them to be good, productive, law-abiding citizens, if nothing else (cf. Hebrews 12:9-11). While some parents may not always have the best understanding of what God expects out of people, and not all parental advice and direction is good, most parents most of the time attempt to direct their children toward what is good and to help them avoid what is evil.

It is in the home where children first learn about authority. They are to understand that their parents have the authority over them to raise them as they see fit, ideally to raise them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). If a child respects his parents’ authority, he or she will be more likely to respect the authority of God and to be law-abiding citizens. If a man or woman honors father and mother, it will be easier for them to avoid committing murder, committing adultery, bearing false witness, and coveting. If a child does not learn about authority, or disrespects the authority of parents, then the temptation to commit those sins will be greater.

We must note, however, that while this command has applicability to children, God is speaking to the adult Israelites at the base of Mount Sinai and throughout their generations (cf. Exodus 19:1-20:2). Respect toward parents is not to end the minute a child is no longer under their authority. The wise man quickly discerns just how important and valuable his parents’ advice and counsel about life can be. Challenges and issues in the world, in the workforce, in marriage, with children– one’s parents have already endured all of these things and have gained experiential knowledge about them. In many instances children end up respecting and appreciating their parents far more as adults than they ever could have when they were younger!

How, then, do we honor father and mother? Honor certainly involves respecting them, appreciating the sacrifices they made for us, and being a source of strength and encouragement for them. But “honoring” father and mother goes much further than this– children are expected to take care of their parents and provide care for them in their older age, as Jesus makes clear regarding this commandment in Mark 7:10-13.

This value is not well understood in our society. Sure, people still understand that parents and grandparents should be honored; if there are reports of parents abusing children or children abusing parents, we understand that such are terrible things and should not be done. Sadly, however, in our push toward individualism and individual fulfillment, far too many children cannot be bothered with the expectation to provide and care for their parents or grandparents. Therefore, far too many parents and grandparents languish in nursing homes and other assisted care facilities, often all but forgotten, seemingly unloved, without comfort or encouragement.

Yes, there are times when the medical needs of a parent or grandparent are too great for their children to provide, and we must be sensitive toward these situations. Nevertheless, we must remember that God has charged children and even more extended family members with the obligation to care for the elderly and widowed within their family (Ephesians 6:1-3, 1 Timothy 5:16). Even if the parents’ medical needs are great, children can still remain involved in their parents’ lives. There is no excuse or justification for parents and grandparents to be physically and emotionally cast off in old age– such is extremely dishonorable!

There may be times when it seems burdensome to care for parents or grandparents; there were times, no doubt, when it was burdensome for them to care for us. God expects His children to honor their earthly father and mother, not just to show them respect, but to take care of them just as their parents had taken care of them. Let us honor God by honoring our parents!

Ethan R. Longhenry

Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run and be glorified, even as also it is with you (2 Thessalonians 3:1).

We have here one of Paul’s constant requests from the people with whom he has worked– their prayers (Romans 15:30, Colossians 4:3, 1 Thessalonians 5:25, Philemon 1:22). If we stop and think about it for a moment, we can see how extraordinary this might seem. Paul, after all, is an Apostle; he has seen the Lord; he has far greater apostolic authority than anyone to whom he writes. For most of those to whom he is written, he is the one who has introduced them to the Lord Jesus! It makes sense that he would pray to God for them (cf. Romans 1:8, Colossians 1:3, 1 Thessalonians 1:2, Philemon 1:4). Yet it seems fantastic that he would need their prayers as well!

But when we understand the path of Christ, we should not be amazed or astounded at this. In fact, it should be expected! The way of Christ is not self-glorification or the path of power trips; instead, the way of Christ involves humility and dependence upon God the Source of all good things (1 Corinthians 3:5-9, 1 Timothy 1:12-16, James 1:17). Paul understood that, on his own, he could do nothing– it was God who showed him grace and mercy, calling him to the apostleship and it was the message of God that led to conversion (Romans 1:1, 1:16, 5:6-11). The success of Paul’s ventures were dependent less on Paul and more on God in Christ– therefore, it was right and well for fellow believers to pray for Paul’s success, not for Paul’s sake, but for the sake of advancing God’s purposes in the world.

And that is precisely what Paul sought– petitions for the advancement of God’s Word. Paul understood that it was not about him but about Christ (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). No matter how much effort Paul expended toward the Cause, it would not succeed without God’s blessing and assistance.

Two millennia later we still seek to advance the word of the Lord and seek to have it glorified among the nations. We would do well to remember Paul’s lesson.

Sometimes it is easy to forget about the power of prayer. We can get so busy seeking to do God’s work that we forget to frequently petition God about that work. We can forget to ask others to pray also for the work so that it may prosper. We might be expending all kinds of energy on the cause of Christ but we might not be seeing the results we would expect.

In such circumstances it is easy to get frustrated. We might wonder if we are not saying the right things or question the relevance or benefit of the materials we have produced. We might find it easier to blame those to whom we speak, believing that they just do not want to hear God’s message and no longer care about spiritual things.

Yet perhaps the problem is not with our approach or with the people with whom we speak. Perhaps part of our problem is much more fundamental– however unconsciously or unintentionally, we might have begun to rely on our own efforts and ourselves more than we rely on God. Perhaps, by a simple reorientation, everything can be turned around. Maybe– just maybe– if we bathe our approach, our activities, and our words in prayer to God, beseeching Him to empower His message for His glory, He will be more amenable to do so!

This is not to say that we should never question our approach, nor should we expect that everyone to whom we speak about the Lord will be willing to hear (cf. 2 Thessalonians 3:2). Nevertheless, if there were anyone who had the “right” to think that they could just get by with their well-intentioned efforts without prayer, it would have been the Apostles inspired by the Spirit. And yet they are constantly in prayer before God the Father (cf. Acts 6:4, etc.). In the end, it is not about us, and it cannot be done by our own power. We are to be servants of God, and it is God who will make our labor stand or fall. If we are truly working to advance His purposes for His glory, why would we not pray to Him to guide us and to prosper our way? Why would we not ask everyone else to pray for the same in their own lives and for us?

It is too easy to forget about the “prayer” aspect to serving God and advancing His Word. But it is a critical failure if we do forget about it. Let us constantly pray to God, seeking His grace and favor, and pray for one another and the advancement of His purposes in our age!

Ethan R. Longhenry