Ephesians 6:1-4: Parents and Children

Base text: Ephesians 6:1-4

I. Context
   A. Context introduced in vv. 17-21, particularly v. 21
      1. Even in authority situations, all parties subject themselves 
         to one another
      2. Service to one another essential, as Jesus served all of us 
         (John 13, John 3:16)
   B. Paul first speaks of husbands / wives (Christ / church) 
      (vv. 22-33)
   C. Paul then moves on to the parent and child relationship

II. Children: Ephesians 6:1-3
   A. Establishment to obey parents, for it is right
      1. Natural order of things!
      2. Parents have wisdom, knowledge, experience
   B. "in the Lord"
      1. Possible conflicts if parents not Christians
      2. Must obey God and not man when a conflict arises (Acts 5:29)
   C. vv. 2-3: re-iteration of law from 10 commandments
      1. Exodus 20:12
      2. Indeed, first commandment with a promise
      3. Basis of promise-- some infractions did lead to death; mostly 
         though because attitudes of honoring parents lead to 
         well-adjusted persons who respect authority and have good 
         boundaries set
      4. Those who respect their parents tend to have it go well with 
         them
      5. Often, those who do not have it go wrong for them
   D. Children, then, are called upon to obey their parents, for they 
      are striving to do the best they can for you 
      (cf. Hebrews 12:9-10)

III. Parents: Ephesians 6:4
   A. "Fathers, do not provoke your children"
      1. Notice that the impetus of parenting is on the father
      2. As the head of house, he is responsible for the parenting 
         choices!
      3. Mothers have their role, of course (Titus 2:4), but it is 
         not a one-parent job!
      4. As with husbands and wives, so parents and children
         a. husbands are to cherish and take care of their wives
         b. parents are to likewise nurture and support children
         c. discipline should not be overbearing and children do not 
            deserve mental and emotional cruelty
         d. there will be later repercussions
   B. "bring them up"
      1. Children can grow up on their own
      2. Instead, God expects Christians to be active in raising the 
         child
      3. The only way you can provide direction is if you're involved 
         in the process!
   C. "in the discipline of the Lord"
      1. Consider 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Hebrews 12:5-11
      2. Discipline has negative attributes but is not inherently 
         negative-- discipline is used to keep one within proper 
         bounds, involving positive affirmation when right is done 
         and loving correction when wrong is done
      3. Proverbs 13:24: love involves correction!
      4. Proverbs 22:15: there is indeed folly in a child's heart, for 
         he has no sense; discipline will show him the good from 
         the bad
      5. Proverbs 23:13-14: discipline will not kill; lack of 
         discipline just might!
      6. Proverbs 29:15: God's view of "hands-off parenting"
      7. Part of discipline, of course, is being reasonable and 
         praising children when they choose and do the right
      8. It may not be pleasant now, but they will thank you later!
   D. "in the admonition/instruction of the Lord"
      1. Parenting is not all about discipline, but also instruction!
      2. Consider God's expectations of Israel
      3. Exodus 12:25-27
         a. expectation of children to ask about the Passover
         b. expectation of knowledge of meaning to describe it
         c. expectation of recognition of God's power!
      4. Israel forgot about God because they did not follow His Law 
         and their children had no opportunity to learn!
      5. Deuteronomy 6:4-8
         a. God expected Israel to keep His Law always before them and 
            in their minds
         b. part of that was an expectation to teach children
         c. it is easy to teach your children when it is what you think 
            about every day!
      6. How sad it is when children know more about sports heroes of 
         old, various mechanical and other skills, and other such 
         things from their parents, and not the Word of God!
      7. Yes, God expects us to instruct children in His Word through 
         family Bible studies and assembly attendance, but there is 
         also the expectation of continual instruction in various 
         real life circumstances!
      8. The best instruction, however, is the lived life of a 
         Christian (Galatians 2:20)!
         a. children know how their parents are hypocrites!
         b. how can you expect your children to be faithful servants 
            of God if you are not?
         c. how can you expect your children to avoid sin and do 
            righteousness if you don't?
         d. if you share nothing but negativity regarding your own 
            faith and the faith of others, why would you expect your 
            children to have their own healthy faith?
   E. Parenting is not easy, but the rewards of good parenting can 
      be great!

IV. Conclusion
   A. We have considered Paul's messages to children and parents
   B. Children are to obey their parents for their own good
   C. Parents are to guide their children through effective 
      discipline
   D. Parents are to instruct their children in the Word of God
   E. Let us all be the children and parents God desires us to be
   F. Invitation/songbook