The Truth About Sexuality I. Introduction A. Today, a topic uncomfortable for many 1. Sexuality 2. It is considered to be a private thing, and therefore ought only be discussed in private 3. Ideally, all that would be necessary would be private discussion B. Sexuality is, however, a major societal hangup 1. The world's view of sexuality is more and more forced upon us day in and day out 2. If we want the truth about sexuality to be recognized and embraced by our children and ourselves, we must be as diligent to reinforce that truth as we are to reinforce truth about drugs, alcohol, violence, and many other societal ills! 3. I fear that we allow our mentality to conform to the world since it barrages us so! C. It is good for us to condemn the improper view of sexuality perpetuated by society, and at another time we may do such D. But it is imperative for us to know the truth about sexuality 1. We can then be assured of fulfilling God's design for sexuality in our lives 2. We can clearly see the differences between God's intent and the world's view 3. And it will, Lord willing, make it easier to stand strong against the temptations of the world E. Let us spend some time, then, examining the Biblical truths about sexuality II. The Bible on Sexuality A. Let us now look first at the passages which speak of sexuality B. Genesis 2:24—- Matthew 19:5-6, Ephesians 5:31 1. When God made Eve for Adam, the Genesis author establishes that a man and a woman leave their families, cleave to one another, and become "one flesh" 2. Jesus appeals to this as God's intent for mankind-— marriage of one man and one woman for life 3. Paul also appeals to this when speaking of both the marriage and the church C. 1 Corinthians 6:15-16 1. Paul demonstrates that the "one flesh" of Genesis is not only a metaphor for the joining of two people but also the physical union of man and woman 2. He correlates the joining of flesh with a prostitute with the "one flesh" of Genesis 2:24 3. The Bible, therefore, defines sex as two people becoming one flesh. D. 1 Corinthians 7 1. Paul here speaks regarding many issues of sexuality 2. He establishes the benefits of celibacy a. full devotion to the Lord b. not needing to be distracted by needs of spouse 3. He makes the case for marriage a. better to marry than to burn! b. there is no sin in marrying c. marriage is to remove temptation of sexual immorality 4. He makes the case for sexual rights a. Exhortation for couples to have conjugal rights b. Establishment that wife has control of husband's body, vice versa c. Establishment that spouses ought not deprive one another E. Hebrews 13:4 1. The Hebrew author posits that marriage is honorable before all, and the "bed" undefiled 2. There are, therefore, no sexual prohibitions within a marriage save whatever makes either spouse uncomfortable F. While there are plenty of other passages which speak of sexuality, these are sufficient to show the Bible's stance on sexuality G. Sex is two becoming one flesh and is only to be done in a committed marital relationship between a man and a woman H. The Bible is not the only source, however, of these truths I. Let us look also at God's design in nature to prove these things III. The Nature of Human Sexuality A. Paul establishes in Romans 1:19-20 that the creation shows the design of the Creator B. David establishes in Psalm 139:13-14 that God is the Maker of man and that man is fearfully and wonderfully made C. This is no less true in terms of sexuality! D. The nature of human sexuality, in comparison to the rest of the animal kingdom, demonstrates God's designs for sex for mankind E. The Physiology of Sexuality: Human vs. Animal (Mammalia) 1. When we consider the differences in sexual function between humans and animals, many things become clear 2. In animals, sex is for procreation entirely, and instinctual 3. In humans, sex exists for other reasons, and arousal is a major element of sex 4. Humans are the most "sexy" creatures whom God created! F. Main Point #1: The Main Function of Human Sexuality is NOT Reproduction 1. reproduction certainly is the consequence of sex, but it is not its main purpose! 2. if reproduction were the main function of sex, then human sexuality would differ little from animal sexuality 3. All of the differences, however, point to the cementing of a pair-bond in humans a. why else are emotion and the brain so involved? b. why arousal? c. most importantly, why would sex occur when there is no chance of reproduction, either at the time in the woman's cycle or due to menopause? 4. This point goes against thousands of years of "Christian tradition," and perhaps some scientific conclusions, but ought to go a long way to firming up the difference between man and animal G. Main Point #2: Human Sexuality CANNOT be Analyzed as Animalistic 1. We have seen that human and animal are vastly different in regards to sexuality 2. There is a tendency, both in science and now in society, to look at sex in "animal" terms: gratification of natural physical impulse 3. While some species of animals may resemble humans in sexuality in more ways than others, not one other animal species comes close to being as sexual as humanity 4. The main reason for the difference is the difference in purpose: animal sexuality is only for reproduction, while human sexuality is pre-eminently concerned with cementing a pair-bond 5. After all, if sex is only physical and animalistic, why is sexual assault and abuse so jarring? Why does the abuse of sexuality lead to such torment and suffering? H. Main Point #3: Animals are NOT a Basis of Comparison for Human Sexuality 1. Science attempts in vain to understand human sexuality in animal terms 2. Some animals have pair-bonds yet do not have nearly the sexual activity that humans do 3. No animal is as sex-obsessed as man, no animal has as much sex as man, and no animal uses sex to cement a pair-bond as man does I. Main Point #4: God Made Man Distinct 1. In Genesis 1:26, man is said to have been made in the image of God 2. Because of that, He gave man authority over all the world 3. It is interesting to note that Genesis 1:28 makes equal the commands to multiply (reproduce) and to have dominion over the earth 4. To satisfy the need of man and woman to have a pair-bond, God utilized the reproduction process and modified it to account for human mind and emotion to provide a process for man and woman to cement a pair-bond J. In the end, we can see that nature itself demonstrates that human sexuality is far, far more than simply joining body parts. K. We have established, therefore, that the Bible teaches that sexuality is a man and a woman in a marriage becoming one flesh, and we have proven through nature that sex is more than just body parts being placed together. Let us now establish the need for commitment. IV. Proper Sexuality Requires Marriage A. Humans have always attempted to blur the boundaries of proper sexuality, especially in regards to pre-marital sexual relations 1. 1 Corinthians 7 is meant to deal with the desires present in man and woman in a relationship before commitment 2. Our society now places no stigma on pre-marital sexual relations 3. It is very difficult, therefore, to show restraint, and the desire is present to relativize what the Bible teaches 4. "We may not be married yet, but we're committed to one another..." B. Even from the beginning, however, commitment was required before sexuality 1. Genesis 2:24: a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and THEN they become one flesh 2. This "clinging" is not "living together," but marriage! C. The chorus of many will cry, however, "Why? Why? What's the difference?" D. Nature itself has explained the difference! 1. Relationships have been studied by scientists and sociologists and the conclusions are most interesting 2. All male/female "sexual" relationships (i.e., not platonic) have a curve of emotional desire ("infatuation," eros love) 3. The desire is great at first, and normally slowly wanes to non-existence by about 3 years. If the relationship continues, it does so because of the development of a bond deeper than infatuation 4. The introduction of sexual relations, however, modifies this curve. The sex in the relationship lengthens the infatuation stage, sometimes by almost double (from 3 to 6 years!) E. What does this show us? F. Sex is not what constitutes a relationship-- sex is to be the cement of a committed marital relationship G. Introduction of sexual relations before their proper time delays the development of the agape love so critical to making a marriage by lengthening the eros love that only goes as far as the feelings will last H. The consequences are evident: beyond committing sin, many a couple goes from a non-committed sexual relationship to a committed sexual relationship while still in the infatuation period...and when the emotions dry up, so does the marriage! I. The guilt of pre-marital relations many times leads to sexual dissatisfaction and guilt within marriage and causes strain on marriage! J. In the end, while sexual relations are tempting, especially for men and women in relationships before marriage, their introduction too soon even in natural terms impedes the development of the proper agape love and causes great emotional strain later in life V. Conclusion A. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20: flee sexual immorality. B. Paul speaks well of the manifold problems that improper sexuality causes C. We have seen today, however, the proper place of sexuality D. Sex is not an animalistic urge to procreate, but was designed to cement the marriage of a man and the woman, providing not only physical but also emotional, mental, and spiritual unity-- truly the two becoming "one flesh." E. The proper place of sex is marriage, for its occurrence before commitment brings forth sin and impedes the development of a relationship F. Even though the world provides a vastly different portrayal of sex, let us continue to hold fast to the Biblical truths regarding sexuality G. After speaking of the relationship of a man and his wife, Paul says in Ephesians 5:32 that the mystery of it was profound and his reference is to Christ and the church H. The mystery is made manifest: as a man marries a woman and becomes one flesh with her, so we all are to be the brides of Christ and become one in spirit with Him through the death of the flesh and the resurrection of the spirit inherent in baptism (Romans 6:3-5) I. If you are not one with Christ, we would urge you to become so today J. If you at one point were one with Christ, but have strayed from His path, and/or require encouragement in any way, please allow us to do so as we stand and sing