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Below are questions and my answers regarding Christian living: questions about more practical issues of Christianity and how we live as to please God through study, preaching, teaching, edifying, and other such activities.

Q: My question involves the idea of Christians living a "balanced" life. My question stems from a debate with a fellow Christian about Santa and the way probably 95% of the body of Christ celebrates this holiday. He often argues and uses words like "balance" or argues that a Christian must be able to relate to the world. I often argue with him that we are living in a "present evil world" (Galatians 1:4) and there is no scriptural support for a Christian to live a "balanced" life. I point to specific Scriptures that are much more supportive of the "separate" life.

Is there any scriptural support for a "balanced" life or needing to relate to this evil world?

A: The issue of "balance" is a difficult one, because one can refer to so many things by using the term "balance." I prefer to consider a "balance" to be any point between two extremes; I believe that, according to the Bible, we must live in "balance" in the majority of situations, although where that "balance" is to be struck is the main question.

In the situation you speak of, I do believe we must have a balance between living in the world and living out of the world, and this balance is spoken of by Paul in Romans 12:1-2 and 1 Corinthians 5:9-11:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service. And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
I wrote unto you in my epistle to have no company with fornicators; not at all meaning with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous and extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world: but as it is, I wrote unto you not to keep company, if any man that is named a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one no, not to eat.

Paul first says that we are not to conform to the world in Romans 12:2, but then he says in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 that we can have association with non-Christians lest we "go out of the world." Therefore, we must have the following balance: we must live in the world, and communicate and have association with those in the world, but in no way be conformed to the world.

Now, such is easier said than done, and all of us walking in the Christian life endeavor to live up to that ideal. Nevertheless, the "balance" does exist, although it is more "tilted" toward non-association by virtue of requiring non-conformity.

Q: Why is it that when you get older you are allowed to watch or see more inappropriate things?

A: You ask a good question.

On a societal level, society still recognizes that there are many things that young children simply should not be exposed to. There is no real need for young children to see the sexuality and violence and other things that are presented in many TV shows and movies.

On the other hand, adults should also avoid these very things. If you would not want your child to see something, why would you? Matthew 18:1-4 applies:

In that hour came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
And he called to him a little child, and set him in the midst of them, and said, "Verily I say unto you, Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

If we desire to get to Heaven, we need to humble ourselves, and part of that humility is to strive to be as innocent as children. Paul also provides instruction in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honourable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

We can see, then, that if it is not wholesome enough for children to see, adults probably should not either.

Q: Should a Christian woman desire to marry and have children? Is it acceptable to God if she chooses to remain single?

A: While there is nothing wrong with the desire for a Christian woman to marry and have children, there is also nothing wrong if a Christian woman does not desire these things. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9:

But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. Yet I would that all men were even as I myself. Howbeit each man hath his own gift from God, one after this manner, and another after that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they have not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

If you can live well, not prone to lust, lasciviousness, and/or any other form of sexual immorality, and remain unmarried, you can do well in the Lord.

Q: I was not a Christian for most of my life, but I became one almost 5 years ago. Since then I've been reading constantly about it, trying to learn what it is to be a Christian. I've recently stumbled on to writings from various Church of Christ members and I find that they are right in line with what I've believed myself, but have had trouble with because I learned something different at church and in books.

Before I found these articles and webpages I married a woman from the Pentacostal church. I knew that I didn't believe in tongues and various other doctrines of the Pentacostal church, but I didn't think it mattered. Now I feel like I'm faced with the task of informing my wife that I don't believe she is saved.

I was wondering if you had any ideas on how to approach this without sounding arrogant or condemning? I'm uncomfortable with the possible dynamic that such a conversation could bring to our marriage if she doesn't agree with me.

A: I am glad to hear of your coming to Christ and that you have found material by brethren helpful.

As to your situation, I can understand how it would be difficult, and much is at stake in the way you present the material. I would advise you to keep it in the Book-- sit down with her, open up the Bible, point out various passages about how one is saved, 1 Corinthians 13:8-10, etc., and let the Word convict her (Hebrews 4:12).

As to the matter of salvation, we must remember first and foremost that God is the one who makes the decision-- not us (Romans 14:3-13, James 4:12). We do not know who is saved and who is lost-- we only can have hope for those whom we have every reason to believe is striving for faithfulness, and have less hope for those who are not. The best way to express your love and concern-- and that is precisely what it should be, love and concern-- is to make it very clear that you love her, you want her to go to Heaven, and from what you see in the Bible, you're scared for her eternal condition. Even if she walks away not agreeing with you, she will at least know (Lord willing) that you were not motivated by arrogance or contempt but by love and concern, and she will hopefully at least appreciate that much.

I have a serious question for you, one that I hope you can assist me with. I was asked by a 12 year old, out of the clear blue, "So if I die right now, I will go to hell?"

I was flabbergasted. I was so at a lost for words that I did not even talk for the rest of the day.

My question is: how do I reply to this question in a positive manner? This is an extremely bright and forward thinking young lady, so I need an answer that uses Bible verses but also requires a bit of thought to understand.

A: The question is forward thinking for sure.

The best way to handle the situation is to realize upfront-- and tell her upfront-- that there is only One who can make that kind of judgment. Romans 14:4-12 and James 4:12 make it extremely clear that we have no right to judge the servant of another, that to their Master they will stand or fall, and that judgment of souls belongs to the Lord. We cannot tell anyone whether they will be saved or whether they will be condemned. Only God can make that decision.

It is not, however, as if God has left us without any information about salvation. In this circumstance I would ask the young lady if she knows good from evil and has sometimes chosen evil-- i.e., has she sinned? If she indicates that she realizes that she has sinned, I would encourage her to look at Romans 3:23, Romans 6:16-23, Acts 2:38, Acts 8:34-39, and other passages, and see if she realizes what the Bible says about what will happen to her if she remains in her current condition and how that condition can be changed. If she presses with her original question, re-direct it to the Bible. Ask her, based on what she has seen in the Bible, what the Bible and therefore God says what will happen to her if she were to die right now. Re-emphasize that it is not you but God's Word which is saying this.

Q: In 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 it speaks of revilers. Is a reviler one who speaks negative things about another? Say that someone who is known to speak about other members in a negative way, even though it is the truth? Such as complaining among other members about how "so-and-so" usually leaves after she finishes teaching her Sunday School class, not staying for church services. Why would anyone want her to teach their child? Or if the Sunday School class decides to give a love offering to a family whose husband/father is dying of cancer, without specifying how it is to be used, then complain that they saw the family "at the local restaurant eating out" and the carpet store delivery truck out front delivering carpet for the living room. Is this what Paul means? Would talking that way about other church members be the same as an adulterer. Would talking that way keep such a Christian from inheriting the kingdom of God? Should I refrain from being around this person? I know I am uncomfortable with all their negative talk about fellow members, and yet they would not put themselves in a category with "drunkards, or revilers". Would you?

A: First, 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:

I wrote unto you in my epistle to have no company with fornicators; not at all meaning with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous and extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world: but as it is, I wrote unto you not to keep company, if any man that is named a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one no, not to eat.
Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.

The term "reviler" here seems to be a bit stronger than the people you have described. A reviler, also translated "railer," is someone who would be more abusive, more harsh.

This is not to say that the actions of the people you describe are appropriate or right in any way. Such persons are complainers, negative influences-- a bit of gossips, it appears, contrary to 2 Thessalonians 3:11. While their actions perhaps do not accord with a particular sin enumerated in the New Testament, they certainly lack the proper attitude, love, and righteousness that ought to describe a Christian. Do their actions fit with the description of love in 1 Corinthians 13? Yet we are to love our brethren, and if we do not love our brethren, we are deemed in darkness (1 John 2:9-11).

Consider Paul's words about what we should dwell on in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Do the people you describe do these things? It would appear that they do not. As to your association with them, you must make your own decisions. I would definitely encourage you to show them, from the Scriptures, how we should have a positive attitude towards one another and love one another, and see if they will repent and conform better to Christ. If they will not, you will have to determine whether your spiritual health will be made better or worse by associating with them, and act accordingly.

Q: How can believers defeat the evil forces and maintain the defeat?

A: Believers are to do many things to prove victorious over evil:

There are many other Scriptures, and many more concepts, but this list should be a good start to understand such things.

Q: How can you get rid of a black magic curse-- can God do it?

A: God can certainly do such things, since He is Lord of all, Creator of all things (Genesis 1, Matthew 28:18-20).

Q: What is the proper answer for someone who requests that you do not become angry with them if they disagree with you about the Bible?

A: Disagreements do unfortunately exist, yet anger is not to be the Christian's reaction. James tells us the following in James 1:19-20:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.

Our reaction ought not be one of anger. Our job, as we can read about in Matthew 13:3-9, is to sow the seed. That seed, when sown, will occasionally produce nothing and will occasionally bring forth great fruit. Our reaction to disagreement ought not be taken personally, for they have not rejected you, but the Lord of Heaven, and they will answer for that.

I would also offer the advice given by Jesus in Matthew 7:6 and 10:11-14:

"Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you."
"And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town."

Many discussions will often turn unprofitable quickly, and as Christians we have the responsibility to know when to shake the dust off our feet and move on so that we are not inclined to anger or wrath or any such attitude that would lead to sin. If someone hears but will not agree and it is evident after a time that nothing will change their attitude, move on. It's not worth risking your own soul.

Q: There is so much abuse among women; what does God say about abuse? I know Jesus was abused but He died for our sins.

A: The Bible does not speak about abuse directly; we do, however, have the following commands in Ephesians 5:22-30:

Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; because we are members of his body.

We can gain from this passage the insight that a man is not to abuse his wife but in fact love her as his own body; any violations of this would be a violation of this passage and thus a sin. The same goes for a woman; abusing a man is not a way to be in subjection to him!

We have further evidence of this in Galatians 5:19-23:

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousies, wraths, factions, divisions, parties, envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forewarn you, that they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control; against such there is no law.

Abusing a spouse or anyone else is far more similar to "wraths" and "enmities" than they are to "love" and "kindness." Abuse, therefore, is one of the "such like" and thus a work of the flesh, for which condemnation will surely come to the one who practices it without repentance.

Q: I believe that when you are saved you have to leave your old ways behind, i.e., no cursing, drinking, etc., and I don't think you can get to heaven doing these things, do you?

A: We are told these things in Romans 12:1-2, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and Galatians 5:17-24:

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you would. But if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

These verses demonstrate clearly that once we become Christians we must put away such things, including cursing and drinking.

Q: What does the Bible say about drug use?

A: We read the following in regards to such things in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and Galatians 5:19-24:

Or know ye not that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have from God? and ye are not your own; for ye were bought with a price: glorify God therefore in your body.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousies, wraths, factions, divisions, parties, envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forewarn you, that they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control; against such there is no law. And they that are of Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with the passions and the lusts thereof.

We see in these verses that our bodies are not our own, but God's, and the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we therefore have the obligation to keep our bodies in good shape. No recreational drugs can assist in keeping the body in good shape, for they all lead to death. Recreational drug use can be seen as a work of the flesh for the following reasons:

  1. one definition of "sorcery" in the Greek text is "drugs,"
  2. the effects of drug use and drunkenness are the same and therefore can be seen as "such like" drunkenness,
  3. drug use in no way concords to any of the manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit, and in fact contradicts the idea of self-control.

We can see, therefore, that although the use of recreational drugs may not be specifically condemned in Scripture, the principles of 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and the fact that drug use is far closer to a work of the flesh than part of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:19-24 lead us to condemn drug use as sinful and contrary to the path of righteousness and eternal life.

Q: I have a friend who is a Christian and is in prison. He wants to know if God has mercy on people such as himself who does not go to church or partake of the Lord's Supper as they should.

A: We do know that Christians are to assemble with one another (Hebrews 10:25), and to partake of the Lord's Supper (1 Corinthians 11:23-26), but we recognize that there are many reasons why people would be hindered from doing so. If one is incarcerated, one is forbidden from assembling with the saints; since the only example of partaking the Lord's Supper represents an assembly of the saints, such a one is precluded from such also, and we have every reason to expect that God will show mercy.

Q: What does it really mean when people say "it is well with my soul"?

A: While the ESV renders 3 John 1:2 in the following way,

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

...it is most likely that such persons are at least indirectly referring to the popular hymn, "It is Well With My Soul". Such persons more likely than not refer to the fact that despite whatever trials and tribulations they may currently be experiencing, they are trusting in the Lord and therefore things are well with their soul.

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