Reconnect: Acceptance I. Introduction A. People seek to love and be loved 1. This makes sense: people are made in the image of God, and God is love and shares in love among Himself and toward His creation (Genesis 1:26-27, John 3:16, 1 John 4:8) 2. Man was therefore made in love for love, both for God and for his fellow man (Matthew 22:37-39) 3. We can love God because He has loved us, has sent His Son to die for our sins, and we can now be reconciled to Him (Romans 5:6-11, 1 John 4:7-21) 4. God has established the church as the representation of His manifold wisdom, people from diverse backgrounds and with diverse skills and abilities unified in Jesus and working together in love (1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Ephesians 2:11-18, 3:10-11, 4:11-16) 5. Therefore, it is to be in the church where we should and must find the ultimate expression of love for God and for one another, in which each member feels that they have found exactly that which they were seeking, being reconnected with God and with their fellow man! B. Part of this search for love involves the desire to be accepted 1. After all, what do we mean when we say that we want to be loved? 2. Part of that desire involves the desire for acceptance: deep down, we all want to be accepted for who we really are, and valued and honored because of it or even despite it C. If we are going to be able to truly reconnect with God and with our fellow man in His church, we must address our need for acceptance 1. Why do we seek acceptance? 2. How far will we go in order to be accepted or acceptable? 3. How can God accept us? 4. How can we effectively accept one another? II. Seeking Acceptance A. Humans are social creatures and thus must find acceptance within the group B. Ideally, we will already have the sort of character and disposition which naturally leads to acceptance C. Yet no one is ideal; we are all imperfect! D. Most have fallen, to some degree, for the great lie: no one will accept me as I am 1. How many times have we felt that if people really knew who we were, how we felt, or what we did, they would reject us? 2. When we become convinced of this lie, we begin to hide and establish a more "acceptable" exterior E. How many of us are more than willing to play the hypocrite in order to be accepted? 1. Hypocrite is from the Greek hupokrites, the term used to describe an actor 2. It had a generally positive connotation before Jesus used it to describe how the Pharisees said one thing but did the opposite (cf. Matthew 23:1-35) 3. If we also say one thing but do another, we certainly are hypocrites! 4. But even if we are more consistent than that, if we put on airs or a front, attempting to hide our true self, we turn our lives into an act and the world our stage, and we remain hupokritai, actors! 5. How many times are we willing to adapt to the conventions of a group to be accepted into it, for better or worse? 6. How many people have gone down the paths of sin and engaged in revelry, sexually deviant behavior, or denied Jesus and His way because they felt that such was the only way they would be accepted (cf. John 12:42-43, Galatians 5:19-21)? 7. This is not limited to a lack of religion: how many Christians put on a holy, sanctified exterior when their lives and their relationships are actually quite weak and falling apart? F. Yet does the acceptance of our external "actor" really satisfy? 1. Even though we might go to such great lengths to be accepted, when it is only a false front that is acceptable, do we really feel like we are accepted? 2. In some ways, acceptance of the actor is worse than outright rejection: we can easily be consumed by the fear that if those people who accept us knew who we really are, or how we really think, feel, and act, we certainly would be rejected! 3. Thus it is easy to "pretend" through life, internally wasting away in pain, fear, and often sin, still yearning for acceptance but too afraid to trust enough to open up and be honest G. So it is that fear of rejection and the perpetuation of hypocritical exteriors are two of Satan's best assets! III. God and Acceptance A. Yet no matter how many people we might fool, God is not fooled, for He knows who we are and the condition of our hearts (Psalm 44:21, Daniel 2:22, Luke 16:15) B. Therefore, if anyone has the right to reject people and not accept them, it is God, for we have all sinned, and all turned our back to Him, and were hostile toward Him (cf. Romans 3:10-23, 8:7-8)! C. Many people, in fact, are convinced that God can never and will never accept them because of the depth of their sin 1. The great lie strikes again: if anyone knows who I really am, they could never accept me; God knows who I really am, therefore, God can never accept me 2. This view is often reinforced with the recognition of God's holiness and the standard of righteousness which He has established for mankind (cf. Galatians 5:17-24, 1 Peter 1:15-16): in recognizing their sinfulness, they despair of ever being righteous, and are convinced of their failure to ever become righteous, and thus feel they are condemned without any hope in the world D. There is some truth to this: if God's acceptance of us were based upon our behavior or our righteousness, then yes, God could never accept us since we all fall short of His glory (cf. Romans 3:23)! E. Yet a wonderful part of the Good News of the Gospel of Christ is that God's acceptance of us is not based on our behavior or righteousness! F. God loves us and has sent His Son to die for our sins despite us and our sinfulness! 1. This is the core message of Romans 5:6-11 2. Romans 5:6: Christ died for the ungodly while we were still weak 3. Romans 5:8: God commends His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us 4. Our reconciliation with God is through His grace and mercy extended to us through Jesus, and not on anything we have done (Romans 5:9-11)! G. We thus must understand that God is willing to accept us by His grace and mercy, despite who we are and what we have done! 1. Such is why Paul proclaims in 1 Timothy 1:12-17 that he, a blasphemer, persecutor, and murderer, received mercy to show that Christ came to save sinners 2. God's offer of forgiveness through Christ is greater and stronger than any of our sins and deficiencies! H. God in Christ stands willing to accept us for who we are as long as we are willing to accept Him for who He is, put our trust in Him and follow in His ways (1 John 1:1-2:6) 1. The Gospel is replete with examples of sinful people coming to Jesus and hearing Him gladly 2. They recognized they were sinful, did not want to remain in sin, and listened to Jesus because He was willing to condescend to live among them and engage with them! 3. They knew they were sick, and so desired to see the Physician (cf. Matthew 9:11-13) 4. God cannot accept us while we reject Him, and we reject Him when we put our trust in our own ways and act against His purposes without sorrow or regret (cf. Romans 8:7-8, Hebrews 10:26-31) 5. Likewise, if we think we are healthy on our own, as the Pharisees of old did, we will not take advantage of what Jesus offers and will die in our sins (cf. Matthew 9:11-13, Luke 18:9-14) 6. Nevertheless, as with those in Jesus' day, so to this day: God knows that we are weak and sinful, and gives us the opportunity to confess our sins and be forgiven of our sins if we are willing to turn from them (cf. 1 John 1:9) 7. Our relationship with God is predicated on trust, as any relationship is! I. If we truly trust in God, God will not forsake us or leave us, but will strengthen us and guide us on to holiness and sanctification (Romans 8:1-39)! J. Therefore, God is willing to accept us despite who we are and what we have done, and if we trust in Him, we will be able to become what we should be through Him! IV. Accepting One Another A. As God intends for the church to be where we find the ultimate expression of love for Him and for one another, so it is that God intends for the church to be where we find the ultimate expression of acceptance of God and of one another! B. Whereas people in the world are hostile toward each other and despise each other on the basis of race, class, gender, ethnicity, religion, language, and countless other matters, in the church, Jesus has killed all hostility, and believers are to accept each other whether white or black or somewhere in-between, whether rich or poor, whether male or female, and so on (Ephesians 2:11-18, Galatians 3:28, Colossians 3:11)! C. Likewise, as God proves willing to accept us despite who we are and what we have done, we must prove willing to accept one another and others despite who they are and what they have done (cf. Luke 6:31-38)! 1. Have they sinned? So have you (Romans 3:23) 2. Have they sinned against you? Forgive them, lest you not be forgiven (Mark 11:25-26) 3. Do you think you have a reason to cast them off and not show love and care for them? What if God felt that way toward you? D. We will never be able to maintain the relationships God intends for us to maintain with each other if we cannot truly accept one another 1. None of us are perfect; we are all sinners (Romans 3:23) 2. We are all beset by various sins (Hebrews 12:2) 3. If we feel that we cannot trust anyone in the church lest we be exposed for who we really are and be rejected, how can we receive encouragement from the church in the struggle against sin? 4. This is why God intends for Christians to bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2) 5. This is why God expects Christians to confess their sins to one another (James 5:16) 6. These may not be things that every Christian does for every other Christian, but each Christian must have some other Christian with whom they can develop this kind of trusting relationship! E. Whenever such matters are discussed, it is easy to have automatic reactions in terms of unrepentant sin, church discipline, and standards of righteousness 1. There are times when people seek to persist in sin while maintaining a religious exterior and refuse to repent; such is why 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 is in the Scriptures 2. Yet even then we are to still love the person and work gently toward restoring them (cf. Galatians 6:1-3, 2 Thessalonians 3:15) 3. And yes, we are to uphold God's standards of righteousness, and declare what is right to be right, what is wrong to be wrong, and not confuse the two (2 Timothy 4:1-5) 4. But we must also recognize that we all still sin, and that our relationship with God is not dependent on our righteousness but always upon His love, grace, and mercy (Ephesians 2:1-10, Titus 3:3-8, 1 John 1:8-9) 5. Note how much mercy Jude expects believers to have on many who struggle in Jude 1:20-23! E. We do best when we magnify God and His righteousness while continually making clear that we are works in progress, imperfect, and ever in need of love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness! F. When this balance is not maintained, God is not truly honored! 1. Yes, many groups err on the side of tolerance and acceptance and ultimately depart from God's standards of truth and righteousness (Galatians 1:6-9, 1 Timothy 4:1-4, 2 Timothy 4:1-5) 2. But what happens when a group errs on the side of judgmentalism? a. Those who remain keep up the holy exterior, afraid of any transgression being exposed lest they lose face and be rejected b. No one can feel comfortable confessing their sins c. Those who are without may receive the impression that they are not at the level of holiness of those who are within and are unworthy of that association d. Or those without see the hypocrisy involved in this spiritual social club and see nothing of value in it e. Ultimately, all spiritual relationships in such a group cannot reach significant depth, true trust cannot be maintained, and the body acts dysfunctionally (cf. 1 Corinthians 12:12-28) G. We do well to keep in mind the corrosive effects of judgmentalism! 1. Matthew 7:1-4 is in the Bible for good reason 2. Judgmentalism can often be a cloak by which we vaunt ourselves against who we perceive to be a spiritual inferior, just as the Pharisees did (cf. Luke 18:9-14) 3. By judging others we often want to deflect judgment upon ourselves, lest our problems see the light of day 4. One cannot remain strictly judgmental in the face of love, compassion, grace, and mercy 5. Can the sick truly judge the sick? Such is why Paul asks how we can judge the servant of another (cf. Romans 14:10-12)! 6. It is not for us to look down on others, to find reasons to separate ourselves from others, or to condemn others: it is for us to love others, accept others, and be reconciled to one another as God has reconciled us to Himself (cf. Luke 6:27-38)! H. Perhaps we do better to emphasize the value of humility and weakness, encourage openness, and denounce hypocrisy, than to foster hypocrisy through judgmentalism! I. Nevertheless, true acceptance is hard! 1. Acceptance is hard because it is hard to trust people, and it is very hard to humble oneself and expose one's weaknesses 2. It has always proved easier to put up a front than to let people in to see who we really are! 3. Therefore, acceptance demands more from the one who desires acceptance than those who would accept them 4. If we want to be accepted, we must be willing to trust others, even with the knowledge that in some way we will be betrayed, for as we have failed others, they will fail us 5. If we want to be accepted, we must be humble enough to come to grips with who we really are and what we have done (cf. James 1:22-25) 6. And if we want to be accepted, we must be willing to find strength in weakness, for God's grace should be sufficient for us (cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10) J. The church can be a place of acceptance 1. As Jesus has accepted us despite ourselves, so we should accept one another 2. As we maintain relationship with God through humility, repentance, and seeking and receiving forgiveness, so we can maintain relationships with each other the same way 3. The last place we should need to pretend to be something we are not is in the midst of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! V. Conclusion A. The world is full of people playing the hypocrite, yearning for acceptance but afraid of rejection B. The world is also full of hostility, hatred, insecurity, fear, and division C. Yet in Jesus God will accept all people despite themselves to develop a relationship based in trust D. In the church people are to find relief from hypocrisy, rejection, hostility, insecurity, fear, and division, but this is only possible when Christians prove willing to trust one another, be open and honest with each other, and accept one another despite it all E. There is great power in the witness of a life lived authentically, without hypocrisy or pretense, marked by openness and vulnerability toward others! F. Let us develop such a life ourselves and together as God's people, reconnected to God and with one another, accepting one another as God in Christ has accepted us! G. Invitation/songbook